Anniversary #4 Level Up!

Well, I'm already a day late, but that's because I was busy sitting on the couch playing Lego Harry Potter with Sak the past few nights.  Spending time together is more important than a timely blog post, I'd like to think.  But before you think that it was a romantic lovey-dovey time spent together - no. Sak and I play horrible co-op.

"OMG go over there! Over there! Now jump up. Jump UP. UP. What is WRONG WITH YOU."

"Really? Shark Krum? You're going to play as Shark Krum?" *eyeroll*

"If you AK* me one more time I'm not going to play with you anymore."

*avada kedavra

Impatient outbursts aside, I've loved these past four years of married time spent together.  I'd say this year has probably been a little more difficult for Sak, since I've been coming home late nearly every night due to my expanded responsibilities at the office.  Things we used to do together - shopping, cooking (aka take-out) - he now does on his own, which is something I simultaneously appreciate and feel slightly bad about. To think - I used to make him lunches when we first started working. Pfft. How was that even possible? I can't even tell what I want to eat for dinner an hour beforehand on most days.  Luckily he has a nice cafeteria that serves eggs bennie on Fridays so I don't feel the least bit guilty about not making lunch, haha.

For this anniversary, Sak gifted me a videogame (Lego Indy, since verbally abusive co-op is apparently our thing) , and I gifted him some fancy dark choco and wine.  So we are either some sort of reverse stereotype, or we just really bought things for ourselves. @_@  In any case, I think it's good because they are things we can both share!

How Sak puts up with my constant scheming, projects and half-baked plans (and the whining and begging for help that usually comes with them) I'll never know.  But I'm glad he does, because I couldn't think of a better otaku to have had married.

Shark Krum. (source)

Anniversary #3 Level Up!

Three years!

And I am very comfortable living the married life :)

We've done a lot this past year, and I realize daily just how much I love Sak for being ever patient with his, uh, sometimes high-maintenance wifu. Like at Black Rock in Maui, when Sak ran around to find me a bathroom cause I really really had to pee but just couldn't go in the ocean.  He's also become an expert bunny wrangler, herding Mochi and Katsu back to their home quickly when I start squealing about chewed up shoelaces and purse straps.  And even though I was seething with unsightly jealousy the whole time he was gone on his business trip to Japan, he was thoughtful enough to bring me back a Sengoku Musou 3Z premium box.  As much as I love playing videogames with him, next time he should really just take me along. Ha!

We've been to three conventions so far this year, and have at least one more planned. He's helped me put together several costumes and projects - taking over whenever the silhouette gets jammed or a zipper needs sewing.  He's the best partner I could ask for, and I am so blessed to have Sak as a husband.

Here's to year four!

Anniversary #2 Level Up!

I really can't believe it's been two years already! It doesn't feel that long ago that we were on that beautiful island, vowing to stay together for life.  Time really does make it seem more and more magical too. I'm glad I wrote recaps though, because our anniversary made me nostalgic and it was nice to have all the memories and pictures just sitting here online.  If you marrieds haven't written recaps yet (even if they are just for yourself) - I highly encourage it!

Anyway, this past year was kinda strange.  We had BIL living with us for most of it, and were generally cheaper than usual due to us trying the rebuild the nest egg that we spent on our house. I was stressed out for a good three months of test studying. More stress just waiting for results. We spent a lot of couple time with our pal, Netflix - watching Lost, Firefly, Better off Ted, Arrested Development, Stargate, Doctor Who and horrible dubbed anime (seriously Netflix, why no subs?).  I guess we watched a lot of TV. I can feel my brain rotting inside my skull in retrospect, but Sak says it's important stuff to make sure we're in the loop on nerd references.

But whether we're out doing something fabulous, or laying in bed with the remote control - I still cherish all the time we have together. We laugh, we fight, we have stupid conversations and serious ones too. Sometimes the stupid ones get serious, you know how that goes.  We still have fifty million ideas and though we're getting better at making them happen, we're still pretty lazy.

We both screwed up our anniversary surprises - Sak used my Woot account to buy me a present (thus having the confirmation email sent straight to me), and I used Sak's Gamestop account to buy him a present (thus having the confirmation email sent straight to him).  Mutually dumb ideas, haha!

In short, I love Sak, more even than when I married him, and I'm looking forward to a stellar year three!

The Paper Anniversary

As much as we wanted a return trip to Hawaii for our first anniversary, it was definitely not in the post-home-buying cards.  And though there was not a whole lot of romance in the air this past weekend due to house guests, we still found a little time to exchange gifts.  Consider it an effort to prove to ourselves that yes, being married a whole year meant something special to us both.  Plus, who doesn't love a present?

Going with the traditional paper theme, I got Sak a paper making kit.  He's always talking about how hard it is to come by good quality origami paper, so I figured he could try and make his own (or at least understand why quality paper is priced the way it is).  And anything to increase one's "skills" is always a winner in my opinion.

Sak, after a few months of telling me that I was getting a paper clock (to be 100% on board with Wikipedia's anniversary chart), pleasantly surprised me with a print from one of my favorite web-comics, xkcd.

So sweet. So true.

Now I just have to find a frame for this guy.

Anniversary Level Up!

It's been a year since this:

(Photo by Terra Photography)

Woop-Woop!

In the past 365 days, I have gained so much.  A house, 15 pounds, a housemate - but most importantly, a year's worth of love and adventure with my spouse.

So here's to the start of another year - may it be even more awesome than the last!

Coexisting with One Controller

Sometimes a great game comes out and there's no multi-player feature.  Sometimes it's such a must-play game that neither wants to wait for the other to finish it first.  Sometimes there is only one possible save file *cough*pokemon*cough*.

So how do you share a single player game when both you and your husband are chronic controller hogs?

Our friend E recently lent us his copy of FFXIII.  Yes, it's already an "old" release, but remember - by virtue of cheapness I rarely ever buy games over $15.  Even beloved franchise games like Final Fantasy.  Anyway, I started playing, but after a while, I had this sixth sense that someone was behind the couch, crawling towards me with itchy controller-starved fingers.  Sak wanted in.

Ten game hours later, I think we've developed a bit of a sharing strategy.  At each save point we'll switch off, fighting along the way.  He'll let me "spend the gil" - glorified shopping and skill/weapon development, while he handles all the bosses or anything else that requires quick-thinking and/or reflexes.  And so far - it's been working.  Plus we get to snack, stretch, or look up game FAQs while on our break from the controller! Win-win!

True, we still have moments now and then where one questions the other's obviously inferior battle strategy.  Or one will wonder how the other could possibly have missed that treasure orb right in front of one's face - obviously it was right there and only an idiot who needs to get an eye check would skip it. *scoff scoff*

But minor rivalry aside, it's been pretty positive.  We get to spend time together (which makes videogame playing much more enjoyable, in my opinion), and by necessity we are practicing our sharing and compromising relationship skills - which can only help in future, more important life instances where sharing needs to happen. Heh.


As for our impression of FFXIII so far? We are in agreement that Sazh is the best character so far, if only for the chocobo that lives in his afro.  Obviously that's an iron-clad combination of epic proportions.

(source)

Do you ever find it hard to share something with your significant other?  What's your strategy for sharing?

Changes

There's a big change coming to our Sak family home soon - a new addition so to speak.  And no, not the kind that barks or cries for a diaper change.

I've gone back and forth on whether I should write about it, seeing as it's a rather sensitive subject, but it'd be kind of a hassle to hide another resident for the next indefinite period of time.  Plus I need your prayers and good ideas.

Sak's brother is moving in with us.  Since he's graduated, he's leaving LA to come stay here and look for a job.

Not that I have anything against my BIL, but this is really a huge deal for me.  If a baby can wreck havoc on a relationship - I'm pretty sure a housemate can as well. I just don't want to feel uncomfortable living in my own house.  Plus Sak won't be able to spend as much time working projects with me, since I'm sure he'll want to bond with his brother (and videogames). So I'll have to share both my home and my husband! I'm not sure if I'm ready for that - I'm a pretty selfish person.

But family need is what it is. And I'm pretty sure my family doesn't have that Nicaraguan saying my co-worker keeps repeating about newly married couples living in their own home alone.

Not that I'll be newly married anymore - he's moving in on our anniversary.

(That little fact alone may be the crux of my moodiness.)

But I need to stay positive - this could turn out well. Sak will have time with his brother.  And I'll have more free time to watch girly anime?

Anyway, any tips on how I can make this a successful transition? Have you ever lived with a sibling (outside the family home, of course)? Any tips of how to find my BIL a job? He's got his degrees in biomedical engineering.

Spousal Allowance

I read this interesting article on the change of the average Japanese man's spending money, but I think even more interesting is the concept of having spending money to begin with.

Japan is still really "traditional" in that a lot of the men work, and the wives stay home and cook, clean, take care of the kids. But the odd thing is that the woman is in charge of the finances that her husband brings home. And then she gives him an allowance to do whatever he wants, whether it be eating out, bar hopping, etc.!

This fascinates me, and in some ways I think it's good. For example, my mother doesn't work, and she has been the stay-at-home-mom for most my life. She doesn't touch the family finances, bills, whatever - at all. And she knows little about taxes and credit rates and the like. Completely dependent on my dad's monetary decisions. I think if she had the Japanese-wife responsibility of money, she'd understand things better and be able to take care of herself if the need ever presented.

Sak's parents both work, though his mom handles all the finances. She's very meticulous too - even saves all her receipts! I tried to get into this habit, but it proved too overwhelming so I only save receipts for bigger purchases now.

Sak and I do not really share finances yet. Not in a legal sense anyway. We both have our own accounts, though we know each others passwords and readily share our information with each other. We take turns paying rent each month. Sak pays for our auto/rental insurance, and I pay all the utility bills. It works for us right now, and I don't really feel like it is "his" and "my" money - rather it is both our money, just in different places. It probably also helps that our salaries are nearly identical.

I assume we'll make a joint account someday, to save up for a house down payment or something. Perhaps this will happen once I finish changing my name.

But wouldn't it be funny if we gave our husbands an allowance anyway? Sak would probably love that, actually. He can obviously do what he wants with his money now, but I know we both feel guilty about frivolous spending without first seeing if the other half is in agreement. I think he'd spend a purely-at-his-discretion allowance on videogames or computer parts. And if I had an allowance I'd buy weird things off the internet or more graphic tees.

Oh wait - I already do that. Oops.

(source) Why yes, I bought this super cute shirt without consulting anyone.

What do you think about giving your hubby (or yourself) an allowance? Is it too demeaning and child-like, or is it a great way to make "sticking to the budget" more straight-forward and easy?